This Friday the Steve Jobs biographical drama comes to theaters and there's been an ongoing war between the makers of the film and Apple executives along with Laurene Powell Jobs. Now a New York University Historian wants in on the circus atmosphere by claiming that Apple is obviously a cult. Today we reported on the fact that Apple takes 90% of the smartphone market's profits. That's enough to get your competitor's noses out of joint. So how do they stop Apple? Some obviously think that tearing down the memory of Apple's former CEO Steve Jobs is one way of doing it and putting Apple fans into a negative box of being oddball Cultists is another. The latter argument has been a raging argument for decades.

To deny there isn't fanaticism within the Apple community would be to deny reality. Just yesterday an Apple fan railed against me for having the audacity to say that the new Microsoft Surface Book was a nice product. According to this 'cultist' I was a Microsoft fanboy. That's when you know the irrational Apple fan base most certainly exits. But give me a break. I've run into more lunatic fringe Androiders out there that absolutely hate Apple like wacked-out jihadists. So this notion that Apple has a 'special exclusive club' or cult is ridiculous and always has been. But in the case of the New York University Historian Erica Robles-Anderson (The Historian) takes the argument to hilarious new heights.

The Historian states that "The whole point is that Apple makes you feel included. Everyone in this 'cult' is working towards a common purpose — there's some form of unity here."

Did you know that Apple fans and customers don't really visit Apple Stores but rather attend Apple Cathedrals? The Historian states that "cathedrals and other religious structures were pretty much technology in its times; they were works of art that went beyond what's possible. And we can see the same influence in Apple's products, as well as the architecture and interior design they choose for their stores." The Historian goes deep down the rabbit hole rambling about temples and even Mormon temples with Apple Geniuses acting as priests where they share knowledge.

When fans line up around their temples, I mean Apple Stores, it's a ritual that's like a religious pilgrimage. The Historian goes off the deep end by comparing this to biblical traditions like Passover, when Jewish people had to travel to Jerusalem and be at the Holy Temple for a sacrifice to god. She calls these "feast days". Apple release dates are celebrations.

The Historian then cracks and begins to analyze the symbols on Apple Store walls as if they were ancient ruins "adorned by pictures of planets, stars, nature and other imposing symbols being huge 'monolithic devices.'"

The Historian says that Samsung tried to match Apple success with the "newer Samsung store at Soho, one of New York's important shopping districts. They launched with 'giant ropes outside, as if anticipating a giant crowd, and big bouncer-looking people in fancy suits.' Needless to say results weren't as expected, and she believes it's partly because the Korean manufacturer took that secluding business approach" instead of how Apple approaches the design of their stores. And yet that's the case with most computer stores that mimic Apple's. This weekend AppleInsider ran a special report on Microsoft's retail chain floundering.

I saw this in my city's largest mall with Sony Stores. They were just around the corner to each other. Apple's store on weekend afternoons would almost be like a concert. Every product-table would have crowds that were two-deep to touch and try out an Apple product. The Sony Store's traffic would have 2 or 3 lonely people. They closed the store

Apple makes fun products. They don't make religious paraphernalia or cave tools. Apple fans love computers and the social aspects of finding others who enjoy the same things. The fact that Apple creates the best consumer experience in the world should be alarming. Microsoft's CEO who closed their product event this week made a big deal about new Microsoft being about experiences more than just hardware alone. I guess the Historian missed that. Aren't people and companies that sell you on 'experiences' really a cult?

In the end, the Historian went so off course that it was truly amusing. Then again, when you're an Android user, these kinds of delusions are known to be common. But I have to admit that her deep analysis made me wonder: Was the Stonehenge cult really trying to build the first Apple Store prototype? You could check out the full Fox News story here.

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