The original Xbox One with Kinect was a bomb. The Kinect sensor was an ongoing buggy problem and many hated it right out of the gate. Rob Fahey at Mobile Gaming noted that "in an age of actually rather justifiable paranoia about privacy, a camera in your living room that never turned off made plenty of people downright uncomfortable."

While some refurbished Xbox One with Kinect bundles can still be found on Best Buy's online site and Microsoft still officially offers it online as well, in general, the vast majority of gamers have long given up on this bundle thinking that it was a rather crappy idea. In fact, one inventor agreed with that assessment so much that he actually designed the ultimate smart toilet that deeply integrates Microsoft's Kinect camera to prove that point.

On January 1, 2015 the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office published a patent application titled "Touch Free User Recognition Assembly for Activating a User's Smart Toilet's Devices."

According to the inventor, the touch free user recognition assembly for activating a smart toilet device can identify a user touch freely, and activates toilet device settings, which are associated with the user. User identifying devices are connected to a computer, the computer is connected to various toilet devices, and many of the toilet devices are attached to a toilet.

Various devices used to recognize a user, may use facial detection, eye recognition, and or user radio frequency identification cards, etc.

The user's identification is associated, with their user profile, which is preprogrammed into the computer. The profile contains toilet device settings. The toilet device settings, may include, bidet water pressure (what a bidet is), toilet seat temperature, radio station setting, etc. The user's toilet device settings profile, is activated when the user is touch-freely identified.

The system may use an automatic bidet, which uses a camera, and gender recognition software, to detect a user's gender. The sensors and or camera may be used to detect the user's body evacuation. The sensors and or camera, detect weather the user's evacuation, is from the user's bladder or bowel. The sensors and or camera, detect when the user starts and stops the evacuation process. Using the sensor and or camera information, the automatic bidet automatically washes the user's bottom. The user only needs the input of their presence, using the toilet, to operate the automatic bidet.

Le Toilet Menu

Other than the toilet functions that are clearly noted in the inventor's "toilet menu" found in patent FIG. 3, the inventor further notes that other toilet functions could be displayed such as: a bidet water aerator, air deodorizer, air filter, air negative ion generator, automatic toilet flushing device, toilet seat massager, antibacterial ultraviolet light, recorded sound playing system, bidet water pressurizer and more.

Considering that the invention was originally hatched in the French speaking part of Canada, we thought it only fair to dub it "Le Toilet Menu."

Conclusions, Ramifications and Scope

At the end of the patent, the inventor has a segment titled "Conclusions, Ramifications and Scope. It's so crazy that we thought that we'd add it the report. In-part it reads as follows:

"Further passive ways to activate the toilet devices passively, may be using smell recognition, using a device for identifying a user by their unique smell. Another passive input embodiment may use a brainwave recognition device, for identifying user's unique brainwave patterns. Another passive input embedment may use a non-touch hand recognition device, to identify a user's hand. Using a non- touch finger print recognition device, to identify a user's finger print. A non-touch voice pattern recognition device could be used to identify a user's voice pattern. Using a non-touch cell phone recognition device, to identify a user's unique cell phone broadcast signal. The toilet seat assembly may be made out of water resistant high strength plastic, wood, metal, rubber, and the like."

Hmm, what will they think of next? Well, that's a good question. Microsoft just announced this week that their digital assistant known as Cortana is coming to Windows 10. So it wouldn't surprise me in the least if this feature found its way into a future update to this invention. Imagine Cortana greeting you after recognizing your face and that twiinkle in your eye, then assist you along with your business and promptly say "thank-you come again" by name, no less, when you're about to depart. Yes, now wouldn't that be a nightmare.

For the doubters amongst us who could think that this report is a total fabrication, you're free to check it out for yourself under U.S. patent application number 20150000026.

For those of you who are totally paranoid of bacteria to the extent that Howard Hughes was, it's a dream machine come true. Well, at least on paper. Will this become a money making invention or will the inventor just be throwing his money down his overly elaborate toilet? Only time will tell.

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